It’s the month of February, and I think love is in the air. It’s exciting. You know, being positive will always be a good thing. I said, my mantra is 'expect good things,' and when you do, good things really do find you. Maybe you are hoping for a good man to be with, a good woman to be with you, then keep hoping and expecting that a good person exists, and they will find you.
So, we are tackling certain stigmas about love and seeing if they are true: I could be wrong, and I always welcome conversation about them but here are my hot takes on commonly said things.
“All men are trash” or “after the devil, fear women.” haha
I think the majority of human beings are really trashy if you look deep within. This is rooted deep in the fact that we are all born flawed or sinful, and even as our knowledge of good and bad grows, we still do a lot of bad things in our lifetime. Whether you believe in a God(s), or not, we can all agree there is a standard of being a good person or just being a decent person overall. Also, at the age we are in right now, people are dealing a lot with their childhood trauma caused by their families and friends and our ways of coping are what really sets us apart. There’s a story that is told of two kids who were raised by an abusive drunk dad, one became exactly like him because that was all he knew, and the other decided and went on to be nothing like his dad. We reach a point in our lives where we become exactly who we let ourselves become. You cannot blame your parents, friends, circumstances or what not on why you are the way you are. So, I think we went through life in some way, however, we choose who we are and that's when we can really decipher who's not growing and who is. So, maybe we are all trash, just a matter of who is cleaning their mess, or making it even worse.
“The one”
I was raised Christian, and I still think the idea of a soulmate, or someone God made for you is a joke, and not at all true. It’s impossible that someone was made, and God had you in His mind when He was creating you. Whatever story of creation you believe, I think there’s not a specific person made for you, and a person you were made for. I think you’ll find people who you have stronger chemistry with, others you have a greater level of compatibility with but there’s not just one person. I think this is freeing. In the sense that if something didn't work out in the past, it isn’t your only shot in love, you know? You’ll find someone.
“Love is a feeling.”
Love is a choice, ladies and gentlemen. At some point, you will wake up and the lovey-dovey feelings you feel for someone will be gone, but have you established real love that will suffice that? I think at the end of the day, you need to put in effort if you want the relationship, the marriage and even the friendship to last. Some of these efforts aren’t even necessarily directed to our partners but to ourselves. If you find yourself constantly yelling and sabotaging your relationship, the best way to love someone is probably going to therapy or learning better ways to accept and cope with your emotions. I think we’ve built the idea of love being based on the “sparks” you get and soon when the fireworks show is done, we leave and that shouldn’t be it. Real love based on friendship and promises doesn’t walk out when it isn’t exciting anymore, it stays. It chooses to stay and find new ways to love over and over again.
Your partner completes you.
We have this idea of our partner completing us or being our other half. While I think the idea is sweet, the obscure point of it is so false. It is wrong to think that you will forever be half of yourself until you meet someone else. There’s not a single piece of you that is found in someone else, otherwise I think that would make us very codependent humans. I think you seek to make yourself whole; emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically and find someone who has done the same and you become two whole people in a whole relationship. I think that is why we face so much dissatisfaction because we are trying to put our spouses, our partners in our lives in holes that they cannot fit. For example, our spiritual hole, a spouse cannot fill that, only God, only a fulfilling spiritual life would make you complete. Same thing with emotional, and mental health.
When you meet the one, you will know instantly.
I think it can happen, but it isn't really accurate. Sometimes, you develop a friendship and over the years you realize you love someone. Sometimes, you grow with someone, and you find out that all along this is what you want in your life forever. I think there’s too much pressure at the beginning to create the sparks and the chemistry, that we completely miss out on the character of someone. My advice: get to know someone’s character and the chemistry comes naturally. You can always develop chemistry, but the character is super hard to change.
Thank you for hanging out with us, and I hope this makes it easier to find love. All your comments are welcome, and discussions. Just send us a DM on IG or FB, or on our website.
Rooting for you Lunas.
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