Word by word, I craft a story. Like a painter at liberty of his skill, I try my best to speak.
But these words carry not only my voice but a message I intend to pass to the deepest parts of those that take their time. As you read and the little voice in your head resonates meaning to you, let bias be hushed and walls be absent otherwise the message I speak may not be of the depth I desire.
I speak of beauty: beauty of mind, of heart, and of body. Beauty whose voice is excellence, whose perception for so long never disappoints.
Attention given; heart invested. My current stance in awe, if not honest desire.
I want to be the one to make mistakes; make you mad at me, cause your disappointment and not you mine. I want to watch you shout back at me with none of my defences available. I want to see the rage in your eyes. Feel you being filled with fierce rage. I want to get angry in your space too; senselessly lash back even in the presence of undeniable evidence. I want to mask my tears with anger then have you burn me up with guilt. I want you to walk away from me and make me feel like a stranger in your space.
I want to see your heart soften from when my most subtle and mostly useless apology touches your ears. I want that apology to be a voice from my heart and I want yours to listen too. Not just to my commanding voice or the voice of my affection but to the language of my honest apology.
I crave so deeply the beauty of heart. The individuality of the excellence of who you are, exuding in everything you do. I want to know how the dots join in your mind and heart. I crave to hear how you think; how the little voice in your head speaks, the language it uses. I want to feel your heart speak through the hands we hold. I want to feel your heart, beat with shyness as you blush, feel your butterflies flatter with an expectant feel on your skin. I want to smell your hair as I hug you almost awkwardly but just right for you to feel my embrace.
See, I crave to let your lips speak of and from the greatest depth of who you are and who you’re meant to be. I want to listen to your lips gracefully part and meet as your mind passes your heart’s meaning to mine. I want to feel the warmth of your skin as you slide into silent comfort in my arms. Watch your chest rise and fall to the pace of your graceful breath.
I want to feel your scars: the ugly ones on your knees, the ones that remind you so deeply of your childhood. I want to hear you paint me the picture of your heart's scars through your lips. I want to watch you smile and laugh as you relive the story and make me a part of that memory. Your words paint the colors of your world on my mind. I want to help you wash away the insecurities and clothe your heart again with the certainty of an infant daughter wrapped in the arms of her father.
I want you to sew me onto every thread of your life. Stitch by stitch, string my heart to yours. Your mind to mine and your soul to mine. I want to watch you gracefully walk in the aisles of my mind, heart and house on repeat. A morning amble with your hair messy and your mouth tasteless past me in the kitchen. Have me admire the grace of your feet, the intent of your thigh to hold my perfection up and watch your sheen speak of your childhood memories, while in my min; I play the most heartfelt of symphonies. Melodious symphonies whose keys give my heart a beat so mellow I can almost feel my skin come to a graceful blush.
I want to fall in love with you even in the absence of your consciousness. To fall in love even when you’re not watching. I want to watch you read, write and draw and in silence feel the air around you glow with the intent of expression; your mind engaged, your heart its precedence undeniable. Watch your frustration bubble up from being impatient with yourself. Watch how past experiences shaped the imperfections I fell in love with. I want to watch you fill up papers with art, tears and sleep. I want to watch you fail to understand what breaks you so softly. Then later come over to you and carry both you and your heart to a space where I get the turn to stitch my mind to yours and my heart to yours. Have you draw energy from within me and watch you sleep right next to me. Keep my hands to me and have my eyes fall in love with the charm of your sleep. Hold my breath just to hear you breathe.
I want to fall in love with everything in you, and about you.
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