I feel closer to you when I am in pain
I hold on to the pain so dearly. I let it take the shape of you. I know it’s digging holes in my mind while I search the sky for another you. But I don’t want to let go of the pain of holding on to this grief. Because it’s the only thing I have that connects me to you.
Searching the sky for you
I never knew you. I don’t know you. I never see you. I can’t see you anymore. How can I guilt you into being someone I know when I can’t go back in time and you cannot find your breath again?
Why does the world still move on?
And now that you’re gone
My heart doesn’t understand why
The birds still sing in the morning,
The sun still rises, and the moon follows suites in the night
I don’t understand how the sky is still painted every hour with beautiful hues
Colors we once drowned our evenings with
I dont get why the world’s still moving
Like your life was just a drop in the ocean
A leaf in the tree, and life has to move on
I don’t understand why the world goes on
But my world stopped when I got the message
My world ceased to rotate when I got the call
That your heartbeat wasn’t beating alongside mine anymore
And now, once I was an addict to messages and call from people
I’m stuck in this constant horror of anxiety that what once was normal and meant to last
Is gonna be gone like you are
I seldom said this but you know I loved you, I still do.
It feels pointless to say it now, I feel stupid for thinking it now
If you ghost lingers on, I hope you find a home
Because we always dreamt of heaven, and I hope your soul is there, and heaven is everything you wanted it to be.
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